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You have hit on something monumental with the overuse of the word "and". In the first book alone, it appears 4, times. Throughout the entire trilogy, 15, According to Goodreads.

You've done the impossible, Katrina. You've lowered my opinion of E. Had anyone asked if that was possible, I'd have laughed. You see, having not actually brought myself to read the printed sheets of dead tree pulp, I was unaware that James actually doesn't know the correct meaning of words she's ab used. Euphemism, irony, literally, and non sequitur. I'd have been downgraded in junior high English if I'd used any of them as an English author old enough to be my mother did in her series of novels.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. It was an advanced class, something I'm guessing Snowqueens Icedragon Erika Leonard's original pen name , bestselling author, multimillionaire, and one of Time magazine's most influential people of , has never even hoped to be accepted into. I'd say that she ought to go back to eighth grade and correct the gaps in her education, but it seems there are people who would pretty much pay to smell her farts if they were marketed well enough, so it would probably be a waste of her valuable time.

Excuse me, there's a hotline I have to call. Perhaps they can talk me down from the ledge. In all seriousness, it is really quite infuriating and depressing that someone with so limited a grasp of writing can make as much as James has.

I'm waiting for the day a rabid fan accuses me of being an elitist supersnob because not everyone can get a college writing education. It really would make my day because I would then be forced to tell them I was homeschooled my entire life and never went to college. James, on the other hand, "was privately educated, then read history at the University of Kent Absolutely no valid reason for her writing to be that terrible except the obvious; she has absolutely zero writing talent.

What makes this all even worse is that her husband of something years is a screenwriter who apparently reads everything she writes. I weep for the future. That would be beautiful, but I can already hear the gears grinding to needles as your hypothetical yet, I imagine, inevitable critic throws her transmission into reverse and stomps on the gas with something to the general effect that James is obviously correct, since her educational pedigree is in order unless she were to be tested and yours is not.

At which point I wouldn't blame you a bit if you had a vivid fantasy of going on a violent rampage with a dictionary as your only weapon. Still, the contrast is beautiful proof that a degree often isn't much more than a piece of paper, and achieving one doesn't necessarily require much more than the ability to memorize. By which I mean no disrespect to the educated AND intelligent people of the world.

Truly, if this series can be a smashing success, literally anything can be. Anybody, absolutely anybody, can be rich and famous if they happen to have the ability to entertain people with low standards. Some would argue that reality television had already proven that, but reality television and literature are two very different things. They used to be, anyway. You're absolutely right. I too can see that happening.


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I think the turnaround time is dependent on the person, though. It's been my experience that, most of the time, when you shatter an asshole's preconceived notions, they become despondent and confused and just wander away. But there are those quicker-than-average idiots who are capable of turning it around after a few minutes' thought, and it would be just my luck that I would end up with one of those. I put very little stock in the acquisition of a piece of paper in regards to intelligence, as those I've met who are smart are so regardless of whether or not they had a formal, structured education.

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You're right, there are those who acquired that education and are intelligent Reality television was, I think, a precursor to this literary madness. Because I completely agree, they used to be totally different things. It is, after all, quite a different experience; sitting down and zoning out for minutes or settling in and engaging your brain and eyes for hours, days, weeks at a time. I saw one woman comment about Fifty Shades, saying she loved the books for three reason, and the third reason was they didn't require her to think.

That made me sad. True; I may have given ardent fans too much credit.

Another thing I never would have imagined possible. Smart, discerning, outspoken readers soften the blow. Next time I have a drink, I believe I'll raise a glass to you, Katrina, and the other free thinking girls of the world. You are hysterical.

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The amount of money she has made from the platform of Edward Bella fan fic and 50, reviews is well, magic! They are furious that they did this for her and now another one has just pulled out to publish without finishing by god so they want to kill her. These stupid but grasping women who run the show must want to die that they gave her a free platform and she has run off without looking back for a wave to them. And absolutely no tip. Just curious! Nope, that quote doesn't appear in any other the books. When searching for the word "wryly" it never comes with that.

It does kind of sound like something she would write, though. I looked, as well, but searched for "auditory ear canal" and came up empty-handed. I also checked the words, "mewl", "mewls", and "mewling", and didn't come up with anything. Sandy's right, though, it does sound like something James would write. You lit up my day!

Fifty shades of red: Trilogy strains sense and sensibilities

You are so hilarious I had to rest for a while after reading all 4 of your reviews and my stomach muscles might not recover. Your reviews were simply delightful and such a relief! I haven't actually read the books, although I did attempted reading the chapters up for free on Amazon and frankly I couldn't even get to the end of the first couple of pages. I thought that little snippet was so badly written it grated my nerves so couldn't carry on. Some of them have even read the entire trilogy and went back to read it again maybe they are closet masochists!

I was starting to feel abnormal because these people normally intelligent and most of whom are very well read were insisting that I'd give it an honest try. I suspect they might not be getting enough action in their Red Room. I always thought Twilight read like a badly written immature teenager's wet dream and fan fiction based on that Why hair was mentioned so many times and why it sold over 4 million copies here in the UK is seriously beyond me.

Maybe there is a weird voodoo involved or people were taken in by the only thing that was decently done about this book which was the design of the book cover. What is that old adage about book covers again? Anyway I wanted to thank you for spending the time and effort to review such rubbish so I don't have to waste mine and generally being a drop of sanity amongst this tsunami of idiocy that is modern media. Thank you, Mariposa! You're not alone, I've heard from so many people who are seemingly surrounded by Fifty Shades fans and their rabid, frothing defense of its writing, characters, plot, and message.

A startling number of women seem to truly believe this is a sweet, romantic love story with great writing. I saw one girl on Goodreads proclaim that she thinks E. James is a "creative genius".

Fifty Shades of Grey - Wikipedia

My brain froze at that point and I stared blankly at my screen for a few minutes before I got hold of myself and remembered my name, where I was, etc. I truly believe that a very large majority of the rabid fans are just undersexed. The sex scenes tickle their fancy and they focus on that and that alone, foregoing any common sense in the areas of prose, grammar, plot, characterization, etc. Indeed, it's like they don't see the actual story at all. This is what I imagine it looks like inside the mind of a rabid Fifty fan: "Throbbing length, hot and wet, chiseled abs, orgasm, exquisite sensations, nipple teasing As far as your theory of weird voodoo, I completely concur.

I believe this book was imbued with some form of dark panty magic merely because it manages to suck so many people in despite being complete and total sewage. Add to that it's ability to somehow flit from the reader's brain shortly after reading. At first I thought it was my brain trying to protect me by blocking certain things, but then I began to wonder if perhaps part of the voodoo placed on the book weren't responsible.

Like James wanted people to forget the awful in an attempt to get them to read it again and again, thus ensuring readership for years to come.

Differences Between the Fifty Shades of Grey Book and Film

But then, for me, if I were to read them again, I truly believe I could craft four more reviews, just as lengthy as my originals, without recycling a single thing. Thanks, Katrina! It looks much better here than in Goodreads, but you should post some of the pics you have there too the one with Elaine is priceless Humor is the best response, and you have used it extremely well!!! So I went through an entire beer in about 5 pages just using her references to her 'Fifty,' inner goddess, subconscious and use of the phrase 'oh my. I'm almost done with the last book, and if I never see the word mercurial again, it will only be too soon.

I have to give her props When she finds a word she likes, she sticks with it. I really hope somebody buys her a Thesaurus for her birthday or Christmas. You know what the worst part is? It's obvious she consulted a thesaurus every now and again because you'll be reading along, not having any problems whatsoever with the wording other than maybe wanting to erratically stab at your own eyeballs with garden shears , and you'll run into some obscure word you've never heard of before.

I have a relatively large vocabulary even if I don't employ all the words I know, I don't normally have to look many up , and I would have to turn to the dictionary on my Kindle to figure out what the hell a word meant. It happened a few times in each book, and was completely out of place. I'm glad I'm not the only one who had to consult a dictionary to understand what the hell was being said. Why can't he just say "take off your panties"??? Noooooo, i't has to be that he "divests" her of her panties.